Zig zagged life...

All of my life, I've had a complex about doing things perfectly. If I was ever faced with something that I was not sure about, I would rather have not dealt with it at all than to try, and not do it well.  I was driven to always do better, be better, but always felt like I fell short.
I don't need counseling to understand where it all began, but I do think that I need help getting over it.  The anxiety to perform and please those around me is something I deal with daily.

Total concentration...

Well, the other day, I had my four year old son at the table and we were doing "pre-school".







Besides our daily adventure/exploring time, we also have writing, where he's learning to hold his pencil and how to trace. We learn about shapes/colors, numbers and we have art.  For this particular exercise, I drew 3 black lines on a piece of construction paper and one zig zag line.  He had to cut on the lines.  He was doing great! He was so determined to get it just right.  When he was on the third line, he noticed that the next line was zig zagged.  He had a complete melt down.  He slid out of his chair and started crying.  "I can't do that!", he cried.  "I don't know how!"
At first, I tried to speak patiently with him.  After a few minutes, I felt my patience wearing thin and sternly said, "You didn't even try! Get up and do it now!"

2 Timothy 1:7~"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Wow.  I immediately felt guilty.  He just turned 4 a month ago.  It was only the second or third day of pre-school.  What was I thinking?  Did I want him to be a nervous wreck every time something new came along?
Is this how my sweet Savior teaches me?
No.  I knew I was wrong.  Gently, I reached out to him and I held him on my lap.  I bragged on his other work and then I took his hand and guided him as he started the cut of the zig zag line.  He was laughing and smiling by then and even felt comfortable enough to finish it on his own.
How often do we demand perfection and performance from ourselves and from those around us?  There are certain things that HAVE to be perfect.  I understand that.  A brain surgeon has no room for error.  An architect has no room for error.  But I don't think that harsh words,fear, and control is what should compel us to do our best.
Christ shows us the best example of GRACE.  He shows us mercy and forgiveness.  Somehow, this has been twisted by people that obviously have no understanding of Christ's true nature.
Psalm 52:8b “I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.”
As I deal with my own issues and anxiety about these things, I would hope that I can show grace, patience and kindness to those around me - especially my children.
I want them to strive to be the best they can at all that they attempt, but I want them to know that they will be loved and adored by me - no matter what.

Isaiah 41:13~"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."

Friend, that is the kind of Lord I serve.  He is not this frightening Deity on a throne that's just waiting for you to fail.  He is our Heavenly Father and He is the kind of Father that all fathers should be.  He is the friend that you always wished for and He is the teacher that guides us gently if we let Him and He is the one that loves us all unconditionally.

Psalm 94:19 

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.