Thursday, December 16, 2010
Reverb 10|Day 16|Friendship
December 16 – Friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)
Funny you should ask... *sigh*
I've learned a lot about friendship this year. One of my memories (that I listed as wanting to never forget yesterday) was learning who my true friends really are. It's seems that life-long friendships take a life time to cultivate. Who would have thought? =)
There are some people in this world that will smile and hug you and say that they love you, but really, they don't mean it. I am going to be frank here. What they really mean to say is "I love you as long as you agree with me and will sit by and watch me try to control your life." There are some "friends" that are only your friends if they can get something from you. These are not TRUE friends.
I also learned that you can not make someone be your friend. You can force them to care about you the way you care about them. You can not chase them.
My perspective on friends changed drastically, one day, when my dear, sweet husband saw me in a funk, crying over a "friend" that I felt I could not reach. He listened to me for a while (as he did many times in the past) and finally told me that I needed to get a grip and move on. He kindly informed me that I was crying over people who were not my friends and that they would never know how to be a friend. WOW. That stopped my boo-hooing.
Just as a teacher learns that she can not exert all her energy on a couple of troubled students who are totally rebelling when she has good students who are willing to learn and are also in need of attention.
I have friends that are like family to me. They allow me to be me. They accept me as I am and ask nothing more, but at the same time, they encourage me to stretch. I realized that a friendship should feel natural and easy. It should not feel forced or one-sided. There should be honesty, loyalty, forgiveness, room for growth and most of all - laughter. There should be lots of laughter.
It took a while for all of this to sink in because my heart just wanted to believe that everyone felt the same way about me as I did for them. It hurt to learn that it wasn't so. Fortunately, it feels even better to learn what TRUE friendship is all about and I'm blessed with a core group of friends near and far who love me just the way I am.