Colors of autumn...thoughts of seasons past

 I made this for a very special person.  

 We have been apart more than we have been together, 

 yet, I love her with all of my heart and soul.

 She is a good person, beautiful inside and out,

 a hard worker and often searching, pining away for truth and understanding.

 She is a free and wild spirit with a vintage, laughing soul.  She loves deeply...

 she hurts quietly, and she keeps on going.  She is a dreamer, 

 a bird freed from it's cage, not knowing which way to fly, 

 but fly she does.  She flies swiftly, fearlessly and completely.  

One day, her wings will light upon the right currents and she will not fly 

against the wind or into the wind - but with the wind. 

She will feel free and know that her Maker gave her these wings

and that He's always wanted to see her fly...

and fly she will.

I have been writing...

“If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.” 

― Martin Luther

I have been writing...a lot.  

I usually get pen to paper. Ink flowing freely.

Thoughts about those I love.

Thoughts about those I have trouble loving.

Funny things that spring from the mouths of people I know.

Especially my children.

As tears fall hot from my eyes to the point where I can hardly write,

Ink mingling with paper moist and at ripping point, 

I scribble words of fear, anger and anxiety.

My pen doodles flowers, swirls, hearts and owls. 

I try to ponder things that bring me joy or at least a smirk to my face.

I glide the pen - always medium point - to record Scripture that I want to commit to memory.

I jot in margins things I need to do, buy, write and say. 

I neatly list goals and dreams and things I want to DO in 2012.

I want to share all these things here - but I find that I can not.   I share what is safe and even struggle with that.

I feel like I should be truly free to write words that need to come out - to let me fly - to really let me soar.

But I wait...

So, I have been contemplating...

a lot about ministry,
grace,
prayer,
parenting,
friendship,
vitality,
relationships whole,
relationships broken,
mortality,
substance...
It's all just so much.

I find myself smiling,
getting a big cry stuck in my throat,
pleasantly surprised,
feeling blessed,
feeling lonely,
feeling overwhelmed,
being grateful,
being confused,
learning,
guarding my heart,
sharing,
acting out,
withdrawing...
Sometimes, it's not enough.

Proverbs 4:23~"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

FOR TODAY...

Outside my window...
The air is actually cool! I don't think it is even 90*.  Last week at this time it was 104*... I think fall may be around the corner after all!
I am thinking...
about so many things that are on my heart.  A dear family that is literally homeless right now, a dear family whose marriage is hanging by a very, very fragile thread, friends and family that need to find a job ASAP, friends who are making a stand for what is right and feeling very alone in the process...  My heart is heavy with it all.
I am thankful...
that I serve a Savior full of grace.  He loves each and everyone of us unconditionally and wants nothing more than for us to love Him and need Him.  I can find a peace that passes all understanding by meditating on Him and His word.
From the learning rooms...
Little Marco will continue to practice his tracing, number skills, colors, shapes and the difference between big, bigger and biggest.  He gets to pick out the reading books for the week too.
In the kitchen...
We will be enjoying a lovely, pre-made, frozen lasagna. haha! I love making my own lasagna from scratch, but you can't beat these lasagnas for $9.99 that feed a family of 6 without all the work and clean up.  =)
I am wearing... 
black exercise capris (not that I'm exercising in them - ha!) and a pink cotton tee
I am creating...
some cards using some book pages that I stamped. I'm making cards for some very special friends...some are friends I've never met in person!
I am going...
to go for our daily nature walk.  My son is getting his bug net and container as I type.
I am wondering... what exciting things this week holds for my family and friends.  Basically...I'm watching for a MIRACLE.  I still believe in them, don't you?
I am reading...
Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver for my quiet time.  This is a book that I started a while back and just could not continue reading because, frankly - I wasn't ready to read the truths that I needed to hear about myself.  I'm reading it this time and my heart is wide open!
I am also just starting Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay. My daughter already read it and I'm excited to get going on it.
I am hoping...
for so many things...too many to list actually.
I am looking forward to...
receiving the ATC card swap in which I participated.  Not only am I excited to see what others have created, but I just love getting something fun in the mail.
I am hearing...
cars passing by, birds singing, the PBS channel kids' show that my son gets to watch while he has his breakfast and I catch up on a few things before our walk.
Around the house...
there is laundry getting completed.  Nice folded piles are on the sofa, ready to be put away.  I am avoiding looking at my carpets - they are in need of a good scrubbing.  I won't be able to put that off much longer.
I am pondering...
the activities and things that I can do with my son for the fall season.  He is so sweet.  Any time we do anything, he worries that his sisters are missing out on it.
One of my favorite things...
is a good quality, scented candle.  I used to stay stocked up on them, but I haven't been able to indulge in that lately.  This time of the year always reminds me of burning some yummy candles.  Makes my family think I'm baking in the kitchen when really I am not! haha
A few plans for the rest of the week:
I've got some menu planning to do, always pre-school and always household chores.  Hoping to sneak in some more time this week for creative fun.  We've got a training to go to at Taryn's school so that she can receive her laptop.  Every student in the junior high will receive a laptop and this will replace their text books and all paper work.  It's pretty cool.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

These are some of the text pages that I've been working on for the cards.

If you'd like to keep a daybook log too, just head on over to The Simple Woman's Daybook blog.

"Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee." ~Montaigne

Being present on my journey means being aware of what is around me.

I have been overwhelmed with the busyness that always comes with being away on a trip and then coming back just in time for a holiday. As you know, my husband is a pastor and Easter is a very big event for us, as I'm sure you can imagine. I had a mini-meltdown in Smartn'Final and wanted to just cancel our family's ham dinner and just go home to bed. Thankfully, my very loving husband heard me out and then basically helped me "get a grip". He suggested that I clear out some of my schedule and I did. Then we went home and all worked together to make a beautiful Easter dinner. The kids also colored eggs and I was able to enjoy that too. =)

I worked a half-day the day after Easter and then took a nap when I got home. I had to. It felt great - but then I had to get up and get ready for my first mamogram - ever. I'm not going to lie. I was nervous. It actually wasn't that bad. A bit uncomfortable, but I'm glad to have gotten it completed. I had been dropped off because my husband had to go pick Hannah up from volleyball practice. I called him to let him know that I was ready to be picked up, but he would be a while. That's fine, I thought. I will go for a walk. I walked all the way to a shopping plaza and headed straight into a Borders bookstore. I took my time, bought a iced drink and flipped through a Somerset Studio magazine. Nice.

I knew he'd be coming soon, so I headed outside and sat on a bench to wait for him. I was appreciating the beautiful day and thinking how thankful I was that I could get a breast screening done. I was thinking of my dear friend Kay who is currently fighting breast cancer. As I thought about her and how SHE has encouraged ME lately, I noticed the bougainvillea plant growing in front of me. It was on the corner and you could tell that it took quite a beating from just about every person that passed by. It suffered many dry dead patches...but there right before me was a heart. My face immediately lit up. I felt like the heart was there just for me!! I had to take a picture of it - and so I did...with my phone. lol

I've had a lot on my mind these days, and sometimes it feels so heavy. I am glad that I am learning to enjoy the little things. Taking each moment and looking for the good. Being present. So important.

Catch Up...

That's what I need to do! I have been pretty busy lately and unfortunately, my blog and my art were some of the things that were put on hold. I will be catching up this weekend and I am really looking forward to it! What have you all been up to? Make sure you leave me a link so that I can "ketchup" with you too! hahahahohoho *sigh* Okay. That's all for now. ;)